Height of Fears
by sweeet-as-honey
Summary: Ethan's fear of heights hasn't mattered in his working life so far, but what happens when a neighbour needs help and Cal is on crutches? Set in late spring/summer 2015.
1. Chapter 1

_I've been wanting to write a story about Ethan's fear of heights since Saturday, but various things got in the way, including a lack of inspiration. This is set sometime between Cal and Ethan's arrival in Holby and Saturday's episode (Step Right Up)._

 _This story includes a part of Cal and Ethan's flat that probably doesn't exist - it's actually part of my flat! I hope you can suspend your disbelief._

* * *

Ethan held open the door and waited. Cal gripped the handles of his crutches more firmly and hopped into the flat. Ethan wasn't sure if the look of pain on his face was due to his ankle or being in the embarrassing position of not being able to conceal his temporary weakness, but Ethan sympathised all the same. Being off work; struggling to open your own front door without assistance; having to cope with pain and painkillers… it wasn't Ethan's idea of how to spend the weekend.

Ethan had actually been planning on taking himself off on a weekend walking holiday, but as soon he'd heard about Cal's accident, he'd gone online to cancel the booking. He'd known without being told that Cal would need some help over the weekend and probably for several days after that. Ethan would be of much more use to him in the flat than in Yorkshire.

Ethan hurried ahead to tidy away various piles of Cal's bits and pieces to give his brother a clear path to the living room. Once he'd got Cal settled on the sofa with an extra cushion for his ankle, he went to get the can of beer Cal had requested. Although Ethan personally thought tea would be much better for him, he really thought Cal had earned it. This time, his injury was not the result of a drunken incident, but part of a successful attempt to save someone's life, and although Ethan couldn't see himself admitting it, he was proud of his brother. Cal's injury had meant Iain ended up being the heroic one, but Cal had still helped to treat the patient and had flatly refused to receive treatment himself until the patient was stable.

"How are you feeling?" asked Ethan sympathetically, as he sat opposite Cal with a textbook and two cups of tea, just in case Cal changed his mind.

"Embarrassed," said Cal, as he flicked through a magazine before dropping it onto the floor.

"You've got nothing to be embarrassed about!" said Ethan. "You were in a hurry to get to the patient. It's not your fault you didn't notice the steps."

"Iain said I should borrow your glasses," huffed Cal. "And even Dixie made a dig about a sight test."

"I'm sure they were both joking," said Ethan soothingly, before adding: "Though you probably are due for a sight test."

The look Cal gave him convinced Ethan that this was not a good time to pursue that line of conversation. Instead, he picked up his textbook and read, half an eye on Cal, who glowered and sighed his way through his can of beer.

"I want to go out!" moaned Cal suddenly.

Ethan tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. "Cal, you've just been out. You can't need to go out again."

"Fresh air is very important!" said Cal in a sulky voice.

"Yes, but you've had a lot more of it than I have," pointed out Ethan.

"Yeah, and look at you!" Cal gestured towards Ethan with a look that was far from admiring.

Ethan sighed. He had to admit the idea of Cal going out was already appealing. "Why don't you go and sit on the balcony? I'm sure the air's very fresh out there."

"If that's my only chance of fresh air, I suppose that will have to do," said Cal long-sufferingly.

Ethan bit back a retort because he knew Cal probably was suffering. Being in pain could make anyone… well, a pain. "Wait there: I'll get a couple of chairs." With some difficulty, he carried an armchair out onto the balcony, his eyes focused on the chair as he walked as lightly as he could. He put the armchair down fairly near to the door and went back for a dining room chair so Cal could elevate his foot. He closed his eyes for a moment and then went back inside. "Do you need any help getting up?"

"Of course not!" said Cal, offended. He struggled to his feet and reached for his crutches, knocking both of them to the floor.

Ethan patiently picked them up and handed them to him. "I'll hold the balcony door for you." It usually took an exceptional gust of wind in order for it to slam shut, but Ethan thought it would be as well not to take any chances.

Cal muttered to himself as he hopped through. He stopped short at the sight of the two chairs. "I hope mine's the comfy one."

"They're both yours," said Ethan. "The armchair for sitting in and the dining chair for your ankle."

"Aren't you sitting out here with me?" said Cal. "What if I faint or something?"

"I'll be just in here," said Ethan. "I'll keep checking on you."

Cal gave him a concerned look. "You don't like the balcony much, do you, Ethan? You never come out here."

"Yes, well, considering you use it for sunbathing naked, I'm sure you can see why it's not very high up my List of Places to Visit," said Ethan. But he was sure Cal knew the real reason. The five-floor drop, combined with the balcony's habit of vibrating every time you stepped on it, all contributed to Ethan's decision not to go out there if he could possibly avoid it.

Cal didn't look convinced, but he said no more. Even in his current mood of frustration, there was a line he didn't cross. He might jeer at Ethan for his lack of success with women; his inherent geekiness and even his stammer, but it was very rare for Cal even to hint at making fun of his acrophobia.

Ethan waited until Cal had eased himself onto the armchair, then he brought him a pile of magazines, along with his textbook, and his laptop. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thanks, bro," said Cal without looking at him. He'd just opened a magazine and had evidently seen something quite impressive on the first page. Ethan couldn't repress a shudder of distaste as Cal licked his lips, but he withdrew into the flat without comment.

He'd only read through about half a page of his textbook when he heard a scream. In a panic, Ethan threw his textbook aside and rushed out onto the balcony. To his surprise, Cal was standing up.

"It came from next door, Ethan. On the balcony."

Ethan gave the partition that separated his balcony from his neighbour's a wary glance. Most of the balconies in Ethan's block of flats were separated only by a thin sheet of metal. It would be easy for Cal (if not Ethan) to peer or even climb around the partition on the right-hand side in order to pay their neighbour an unexpected visit; but on the left-hand side, their balcony and that of their neighbour Megan sandwiched a small recess containing the water meters. There was no chance of seeing Megan's balcony from here – as Cal had proved when he'd taken it into his head to wonder if Megan ever used her balcony for sunbathing naked.

"Megan?" called Cal, moving up to the partition and leaning out over the balcony. "Are you okay?"

There was no answer. Cal tried again in a slightly raised voice, then he looked at Ethan.

"Maybe she's not on the balcony," said Ethan hopefully. "I'll go and knock on the door."

He grabbed his keys and hurried over to Megan's flat, but neither his gentle, polite knocks nor his more concerned hammerings brought any response at all. He returned to the flat and went straight to the balcony, where Cal was standing on his uninjured leg and leaning over the balcony railing in a way that made Ethan dizzy just watching him.

"Ethan, I think I'd better go over there," said Cal, his concern overriding the pain on his face. "There's a ledge on the other side of the rail – it's probably five or six inches wide. I think I could walk along it and get onto Megan's balcony that way."

There was a horrible sensation in the pit of Ethan's stomach. "You can't, Cal. You've got a sprained ankle. You can't put any weight on it. How can you go clambering over balconies and along ledges?"

Cal considered for a moment and came up with something equally manly. "I could break the door down."

"No, you can't," said Ethan unhappily. "You can't leave Megan without a front door and it's technically vandalism."

"Well, what else am I going to do?" said Cal.

"Call the emergency services," said Ethan.

Cal rolled his eyes. "Well, _obviously_ , Ethan. But it's going to take a while for them to arrive. If I can get over there, I can give Megan what treatment I can and let the paramedics into the flat. I'm sure you wouldn't want Iain vandalising Megan's door, would you?"

Ethan wanted to say that it was a bit different of the emergency services broke their way into someone's flat, but he knew Cal was right about the waiting time. "Okay. _I'll_ go."


	2. Chapter 2

**X-Sammii-X** , I'd like to see sunbathing too! And technically, he's using my balcony, which is an interesting thought! I'm so happy you enjoyed the chapter. I'm glad you like sulky Cal. Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you can picture the flat in your head. I'm not very good at imagining how things look, but I have screenshots of the flat and I was able to look at my balcony, which helped.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , when I first started writing, Ethan was always looking after Cal, but things have changed! So it's nice to go back to Ethan being the caring one. Thank you for your review.

 **Teeloganroryflan** , thank you for your review - I'm really glad you found the first chapter interesting. I hope this will be too!

 **tracys dream** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you're finding the story interesting. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

 **Tanith Panic** , it's not going to be an easy time for Cal, but I won't be surprised if most of your empathy is with Ethan. I enjoyed writing the banter in the first chapter, but I'm afraid there won't be much in this story. Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to **tracys dream** for the follow._

* * *

Cal looked genuinely confused. "Go? Go where?"

"Over the railing," said Ethan, purposely not looking at it. "I can stand on the dining chair. Then I can go along the ledge and get onto Megan's balcony."

" _You_?" said Cal in complete disbelief. He shook his head and hopped over to Ethan. "Ethan, you can't. I can't let you. You'd be terrified."

Ethan knew he should be touched by his concern, but instead he felt annoyed that Cal had so little belief in him. "I won't be terrified."

"You're scared of heights," said Cal. "Don't you remember that time you tried to go on the big slide in the playground and I had to climb up past everyone to help you down?"

"I was five," said Ethan.

"You were nearly eight," said Cal. "Or what about the time when you went on the school trip to the ruined castle and you went to the top of the castle and threw up off the top of the battlements?"

"Maybe I was just ill."

Cal sighed. "And there was that time when we went on that holiday and we looked over the cliff down at the beach and you dropped to your knees, flung your arms around Mum's waist and refused to move? In case you'd forgotten, you were _fifteen_ , Ethan. "

"That was when I was a kid," said Ethan, as calmly as he could when he was flushing with embarrassment. "I'm not scared anymore."

Cal gave him a doubtful glance. "What about the time Zoe told you to go up onto the roof after a patient and your glasses miraculously fell off and broke?"

"That was an accident!" said Ethan. "I would never break my glasses on purpose." He went off to get a mini-first aid kit before Cal could think of any more examples. He hooked it over his wrist and tried to look confident. "Come on, Cal. You can help me over the railing."

"Okay," said Cal, looking quite frightened himself. He watched as Ethan carried the chair to the edge of the balcony. Ethan kept his eyes shut as he climbed onto it. Immediately, he felt his heartrate speed up and he opened his eyes slowly, careful to keep his gaze above the skyline.

"I'm up," said Ethan, his voice higher than usual. "Now I need to… get down."

Cal hopped over without his crutches and put his arms around Ethan's waist. "Okay, Nibbles. You'll have to step right down onto the ledge. Can you put both hands on the railing for me?"

Ethan waved his hands in front of him in the hope the railing would be there, then he bent slowly, his eyes still raised to the sky.

"Ethan, look what you're doing!" said Cal. "And if you can't look, don't do it!"

The edge of impatience in Cal's voice restored some of Ethan's courage. He lowered his head, stared hard at the railing and gripped it firmly with both hands.

"That's good," said Cal. "Now, you just need to get your leg over." He laughed. "This really is outside your experience, isn't it?"

Ethan actually turned his head to glare at him.

"That's it, Nibbles. Stay angry. Focus on how horrible your brother is," said Cal. Then his voice changed slightly. "But be careful, Nibbles. Please be careful."

Ethan felt Cal's arms, secure around his waist. He slowly lowered one shaking leg over the railing, trying not to look down into the car park below.

"Okay, I'll guide your leg into place," said Cal.

Ethan felt a hand grip his thigh. He lowered it slowly, obeying Cal's instructions to move it more to the left. "It hurts, Cal!"

"Where?" said Cal cheekily.

Ethan blushed. "I'm not telling you."

"Your other leg should be easier," said Cal. He gave instructions, and soon Ethan was standing with both feet on the ledge, facing the balcony with his eyes firmly fixed on Cal because he did not want to look anywhere else.

"What now?" he said, his voice catching.

"Keep hold of the railing and edge yourself along," said Cal.

Ethan gulped, uncomfortably aware his heels were hanging of the ledge.

"Put your feet on sideways," said Cal. "But keep looking towards me."

Ethan turned his feet at an angle. One foot wobbled and he grabbed at the railing again, his knuckles turning white, but then he remembered Megan needed him and he was the only person who could do it.

Cal's warm hands descended on Ethan's. "You don't have to do this, you know."

"I'm fine," said Ethan unconvincingly and slid his right foot a little away along the ledge, but the texture was gravelly and it was hard to push his foot. He moved his left foot micrometres above the ledge and moved it along, feeling the sole skimming the concrete.

"That's it!" said Cal encouragingly. He kept his hands on Ethan's. "Now take your time. There's no rush."

Ethan knew there was a reason to rush, but he didn't think he could have moved more quickly even if _Cal's_ life had depended on it. He moved at a snail's pace as far as the partition, his legs still a bit shaky but not letting him down.

They reached the partition and stopped. Ethan knew he'd have to let go of Cal's hands now and he could tell from the pallor of Cal's face that he was in pain. "I'm okay now, Cal. I can manage." He slid his hands along the rail and stopped as his little fingertip hit something hard.

The balcony rail was still there, but it was partly embedded into the back wall of the water meter cupboard. Ethan could still get some purchase on it, but it wasn't nearly as secure a grip as before. If his foot slipped…

For a moment, the world seemed to go black, but then the mist cleared. Ethan trembled, but he didn't give up. He moved one foot, then another.

"That's it, Nibbles!" whispered Cal. "You're nearly halfway. You can do this! I'm so proud of you."

The words shocked Ethan. It was so long since Cal had said anything like that. He turned his head to look at his brother. He saw him, leaning far over the railing in a way that would have terrified Ethan if he wasn't terrified already, but then he saw what was next to Cal.

Nothing.

Just space, empty air; and then a car park far, far below.

Ethan opened his mouth. A shaky cry came out.

"Ethan?" Cal's pride turned to horror.

"I can't!" whispered Ethan. he closed his eyes, flattening himself against the wall and gripping the small amount of rail with all his strength. "I can't, Cal."


	3. Chapter 3

**X-Sammii-X** , thank you for your review. There are definitely times when Cal isn't a very good big brother, but when Ethan really needs him, he is almost always there. I just hope he's there for Ethan in tonight's episode!

 **Tato Potato** , that must be so difficult. I'm glad your sister is supportive - I hope your teachers are too. Phobias can be really crippling and so many people just don't understand. Thank you for your review.

 **Becs2202** , thank you for your review - it's so good to know you got so involved in the story! I love it when Cal and Ethan work together too. They don't do it nearly enough onscreen - though perhaps that's why we love it!

 **tracys dream** thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Poor Ethan really is having a horrible time,

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I'm so happy you liked the parts where Cal was giving examples of Ethan's fear of heights - I enjoyed thinking those up so it's lovely to know you enjoyed them too. Thank you for your review.

 **CBloom2** , he was doing so well! But it would probably be a first if I wrote a story about Ethan and didn't make him suffer. Thank you for your review. I hope you don't mind what I've done with this chapter.

* * *

It was Cal's turn to feel dizzy. He looked at his baby brother, shaking and sobbing into the wall, and felt himself go cold.

He wondered if the terror sweeping through him was anything like that which Ethan was experiencing now.

Ethan was in danger and it was Cal's fault.

He'd let Ethan attempt something that would have been dangerous even for Cal. Now, Ethan was clinging onto something that really didn't give him any measure of safety, his body shaking with fear and sobs.

At any moment, he could lose his grip. At any moment, he could start to feel dizzy. If he started to feel sick, the violence of vomiting would surely throw him from the ledge onto the ground below.

Ethan actually wasn't that far from safety in terms of distance. Two or three steps would bring him back into Cal's arms. Or perhaps ten to fifteen steps at the rate at which Ethan had been moving.

But Cal knew that even if he went to Ethan, it could take him several minutes to attempt to persuade him to move one foot.

Tears rose to Cal's eyes and he felt nauseous himself as the enormity of what he'd done hit him. "Ethan, I'm coming," he half-sobbed. "I'm coming to get you. I'm so sorry. Just hold on for me. Please hold on or I don't know what I'll do!"

Cal grabbed the chair and stepped onto it with his good foot. His stomach lurched as his weight went onto the sprained ankle, but that didn't matter. He had to get to Ethan. Again, he let his bad foot take the weight as he lowered his good foot down onto the ledge, biting his lips to keep back whimpers of pain. As he felt for the ledge, he was sickeningly aware of how far down it was. He could reach it easily, but he had much longer legs than Ethan. Ethan must have been so terrified.

Cal's foot landed on the ledge and he quickly but carefully brought the other one over to join it. He realised immediately that it wasn't as easy as he'd imagined. His feet were larger than Ethan's and he did feel unsteady with his heels poking out over the edge. He tilted his feet and kept his weight forward as he moved. Every step on his bad foot sent pain shooting through his ankle, but his gritted his teeth to stop himself from making a sound and pressed on.

He didn't want Ethan to know how much discomfort he was in. What Cal was feeling was nothing in comparison with Ethan's feelings.

As soon as the railing was half-swallowed by the wall, Cal could only wonder at Ethan's courage. Cal wasn't that scared for himself, but his heartbeat increased still further as he realised exactly how much danger Ethan was in. Cal continued to move towards him. He moved faster than Ethan had, even taking the slight limp into account, but his progress was still slow.

"Ethan, I'm nearly there," whispered Cal. "Don't move. Don't look at me. Wait a second and you'll feel my arm around you."

Ethan was still crying hard and Cal could see a damp patch on the wall. Cal's heart failed him slightly as he let go of the railing with one hand, putting his arm firmly around Ethan. "Okay, buddy. I've got you. It's okay. I'm not going to let you fall."

 _But how can I promise that?_ thought Cal. _Either one of us could miss our footing. I can't even walk properly and I'm sure Ethan can't!_

He took a breath and spoke again. "I just need you to move your left foot towards me. Just a little bit. That's all."

"I can't," wept Ethan.

"I know you can," said Cal. "I'm right here."

"I'm a stupid, horrible coward!" Ethan's sobs were almost howls now.

"Of course you're not!" said Cal. "You're the bravest person I know." He couldn't help but think that plenty of people who weren't afraid of heights would have baulked at this. "And you can be brave again. I know you can." He rubbed Ethan's shoulder very gently and was relieved when he calmed a little. "Okay, Nibbles. Move your foot towards me."

Ethan gave a couple more sobs, sniffed hard, and slowly moved his foot.

"That's it!" said Cal, as Ethan continued to cry. "Well done, Ethan. Now, can you move the other foot?"

Ethan sniffed again and moved the other foot.

"That's right, Nibbles," said Cal. "Now the left again? Now the right?"

In this slow, excruciating manner, Cal persuaded Ethan to take a few more tiny steps.

"Nearly there, Nibbles. Nearly there," said Cal, even though Ethan wasn't nearly there at all. He didn't want to think about how many more steps Ethan would have to take. "You're doing really well and I'm proud of you. I've got you, okay? Can you do another step for me? That's right. That's good." Ethan was still crying, but to Cal's relief, he was no longer shaking with the force of his sobs.

Then he felt Ethan wobble slightly and his little brother's crying intensified. "Cal! I'm scared!" he wailed, pressing closer to his big brother.

Cal stroked his shoulder. "I know, Nibbles. I know. But we're so nearly there. I might even be able to… yes, I can reach the railing now! We'll be at the balcony soon, then I'll be able to help you over and you'll be safe." He knew he'd have to go back to try to help Megan once Ethan was safe, but he didn't want to tell Ethan now. He was panicky enough already. "Can you do another step for me? That's brilliant. And another one? Well done. And another one?"

He coaxed Ethan along, one step at a time, and finally, they were away from the wall and looking at their balcony.

Cal had planned on lifting Ethan over the balcony before he went over. He didn't want to leave Ethan on the ledge by himself. But he realised it would be very dangerous to lift Ethan whilst he himself was balanced on the ledge. The chance of overbalancing was to great. He'd have to go over first and then help Ethan. But how to tell Ethan?

"Ethan, hold tight for a minute. I'm going to let go of you for two seconds, but I'll be very close. I'll just be here." Cal let go of Ethan slowly and heard him whimper, but he didn't let go of the railing. Cal pushed himself up on the railing and managed to swing both legs over, landing with a loud cry of pain on the balcony.

Immediately, he swung round, terrified his scream might have disturbed Ethan, but he was still there, his face white and tear-drenched but concerned for Cal, despite everything. "Cal, are you okay?" he sniffed.

"I'm fine." Cal climbed onto the chair and bent down so he could put his arms around Ethan's waist. "I'm going to lift you, buddy, okay? I need you to let go of the railing and hold my shoulders."

"I can't!" snivelled Ethan.

"I'm not going to let you fall," said Cal. "You don't have to move both hands at once. Just one at a time."

But Ethan had dissolved into hysterics and Cal wasn't sure he could even understand. He hugged Ethan tightly till he'd calmed a bit, terrifyingly aware of how much Ethan was shaking.

Cal put his hand over one of Ethan's, wondering why he hadn't tried this before. Ethan let out a little shriek as Cal unprised it from the railing, but he didn't struggle. Cal put Ethan's hand on his shoulder, feeling his little brother's painfully-tight grip, then he did the same with the other one. "Okay, Ethan? I'm going to lift you now."

Ethan was heavier than he'd expected and Cal felt himself wobbling slightly on the chair, but he didn't let go because he couldn't. He lifted Ethan over the railing, then bent his knees as he lowered him to the floor. Cal climbed down carefully and hugged Ethan tightly, supporting him as his knees finally gave way.

"It's okay, Nibbles. You're safe now. It's okay."

Ethan clung to him tightly, still crying.

"Ethan, I'm so sorry," said Cal. "The last thing I want to do is leave you, but I need to go to Megan." Cal looked at Ethan. His eyes were unfocused and Cal wasn't even sure if he understood. He lifted Ethan in his arms and limped painfully into the living room, laying Ethan on the sofa. He ran into Ethan's bedroom to get his duvet, grabbing a tissue box at the same time, and carried them to Ethan.

Ethan was curled into a little ball, still crying. Cal put the duvet over him, put the tissues on the floor beside him and ran to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and a bucket just in case. He'd rather have made Ethan tea, but there wasn't time.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I know you need me and I need to be with you too. But I have to go. I'm sorry, Ethan. It's all my fault. I never should have let you do that."

Almost crying, Cal hugged Ethan through the duvet, took the first aid kit from his wrist and hooked it over his own, and hopped back out onto the balcony.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review - I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter. I'm not sure Cal and Ethan did!

 **tracys dream** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you thought Cal and Ethan were lovely. I love them both!

 **Becs2202** , I was desperate to see them being nice to each other after Saturday's episode! Thank you for your review.

 **X-Sammii-X** , thank you for your review - I'm so happy you enjoyed the chapter and I'm glad I was able to provide some of what we missed in the episode. It was so sad! They have always sorted it out so far, but I'm still worried!

 **Tanith Panic** , I get a lot of inspiration from the episodes - anything that involves the brothers suffering usually gets me thinking! I'm glad Ethan's phobia came across convincingly and sympathetically. The knight in shining armour would never abandon a damsel in distress - not even for a brother in distress. Thank you for your reviews.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I'm happy to play my part in keeping the brotherly love alive! And in this case, keeping Ethan alive! Ethan dying would be even sadder than Ethan disowning Cal! Thank you for your review.

 _Thank you to **Gingersnaps2507** , __**xEmmaPevensiePendragonx** , __**Future light** , **mmelon3** and **Curious Rebel** for the follows and favourites._

* * *

The pain in Cal's ankle had increased, but he doubted he was suffering as much as Ethan and Megan. He used the chair to climb over the railings again, and held on to it as he inched his way slowly along the ledge.

He was surprised by how frightened he was. He didn't think he was likely to fall, though the fact he was trembling and limping wouldn't help matters, but it still terrified him that Ethan had been up here.

Cal often felt angry with Ethan when he deliberately put himself in danger, but he realised in some surprise that it wasn't the case today. He admired Ethan for being brave enough to try to help someone when it meant facing his biggest fear. Cal admitted to himself, in a rare burst of honesty, that the reason he hadn't insisted on doing it himself was because he was afraid too. Heights didn't usually bother him because they didn't make him dizzy and he knew his balance was good, but limping put you off balance and there was always a chance that Cal's ankle might give way.

So he'd held back and let Ethan do it.

Ethan had courage. Cal didn't. That was how it always had been. Cal did things that would terrify most people, but if they didn't scare him, it didn't really count as bravery.

Cal couldn't even claim courage now. He was limping along a ledge five storeys up because he was terrified about how it might affect Ethan if Megan was dead by the time the paramedics arrived. It wouldn't be Ethan's fault as no-one in their right mind would expect anyone to shuffle along a tiny ledge five storeys up, but Ethan would blame himself all the same.

Cal was moving slightly faster than Ethan had, but his ankle was hurting more with every step and he could feel himself slowing down already. Cal looked along the ledge and promised himself he would stop for a breather once he reached halfway, but as he stepped on his bad foot again, he felt the injured ligament twisting and stretching inside his ankle as a fiery hot pain shot through it. His breathing quickened and he felt perspiration trickling down his back. He was only wearing a thin t-shirt, but he felt unbearably hot and longed to stop and take it off – but that would be stupid.

Finally, he reached halfway and stood for a moment, leaning on his good foot, both hands clinging to what there was of a railing. Cal tried to slow his breathing without success. There was sweat dribbling down his brow towards his eyes now, but he didn't dare wipe it away in case it caused him to lose his balance. He was still trembling and went through a couple of relaxation exercises he'd done with Ethan when they were little and occasionally used to help a nervous patient. They didn't help. All they did was delay him and he couldn't afford a delay. There were two people relying on him: Megan and Ethan.

With this realisation, Cal stepped onto his bad foot again. This time, the pain seemed to invade his whole body and for a moment, he didn't even know if he was still upright. His leg shook violently and Cal fought to stop it from collapsing beneath him. His head seemed to be surrounded by a dark, swirling mist and he thought for a horrible moment that he might faint, but the feeling passed and he could see again.

He breathed in slowly and carefully. "Megan, it's Cal from next door. I'm on my way over to you. Please try to hang on for me: okay?"

There was no answer. Even if she was conscious, she might not have heard. Cal pushed his bad foot along the ledge and then put its weight on it for one brief but endless moment as he moved his other foot. He felt sick now, but he kept going. As he'd realised when Ethan was in his position, being sick from up here could only end in disaster. He took in more deep, careful breaths of fresh air and moved along the ledge, reminding himself that he was nearly there and it wouldn't be much longer now.

Cal kept going, almost sobbing with pain. At last, he reached out his hand and was able to touch the railing of Megan's balcony with his arm outstretched, but it would take several more steps at his snail's pace. He kept going and at last he was able to curl his fingers around the rail. A few more shuffled, agonising footsteps and he was there, looking over the balcony, frightened of what he might see.

Megan was lying on the balcony, apparently unconscious. There was blood pooled around her head and her leg was bent at an unnatural angle. Cal swung his good leg over the balcony, pushing down hard on the railings as he did so his arms, rather than his bad foot, could take the weight. He lifted his bad foot and felt himself teetering on top of the railing. He gripped the railing more tightly and managed to regain his balance. On the second attempt, his leg went over the railing easily and he dropped down onto the balcony. He cried out in pain as he landed, but he otherwise ignored his ankle and sat beside Megan, sliding the first aid kit off his wrist.

Her breathing was noisy, which was worrying as it could indicate the onset of shock, but it was also a relief as it showed she was still breathing. "Hey, Megan. It's Cal. I'm sorry it took me so long to get over here, but I'm here now and there's an ambulance on the way. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Megan's eyes stayed closed, but they did flutter slightly. Cal guessed she was conscious, but too much in the grip of pain to do anything much. He tapped her shoulder and her eyelids seemed to flutter again.

He lifted her hand in his, feeling for her pulse. If she was going into shock, her circulatory system would have stopped carrying blood to non-essential parts of the body and the pulse in her wrist would be very weak. For a moment, Cal couldn't find it, but then he hit on the right spot and felt light, feathery movement beneath her pale, cold skin.

He opened the first aid kit and removed some gauze, holding it against her head. "It's okay, Megan. This is just some gauze. I'm using it to put pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding."

With his other hand, he took the scissors from the first aid kit. The original scissors that had come with the kit had been pretty much useless, as were the tweezers, but Ethan had found some excellent replacements. Ethan was very good at shopping as long as he wasn't buying clothes.

"Megan, I'm just going to cut your trouser leg to see if there's any more bleeding there," said Cal. "Your jeans are so dark, I can't tell. Don't worry: I will replace them. It's one of the hazards of being a doctor: I've often faced the fury of a patient who's had their new clothes cut to pieces."

He held the scissors, then realised his stupidity.

"Wait, just let me swap hands… Ethan would be better at this because he's left-handed." He swapped hands so his left hand was putting pressure on the head wound, then he crossed his arms awkwardly so he could cut Megan's jeans, only to discover he couldn't reach. He dropped the scissors, reaching in his pocket for his phone. He couldn't do this on his own: there was too much that needed to be done and Cal knew he couldn't afford to risk waiting for the paramedics. He had no way of knowing how long they would take. He needed Ethan's help – and he couldn't help thinking Ethan needed this too. He needed to prove to himself that he could save a life or he'd get it into his head that he was useless. Cal knew what a downward spiral those feelings could be.

Ethan didn't pick up, so Cal sent a text instead.

 _I need u cant do this alone cum 2 megans flat bring medical bag pls ill let u in u can do it but I cant do it without u_

Ethan wouldn't like the textspeak, but he'd just have to lump it. There was a life at risk here.

Cal searched through the first aid kit for a roller bandage, but there was nothing that was long or wide enough. In frustration, he picked up the scissors again and started to cut Megan's jeans. Maybe by the time he'd dealt with this wound, Ethan would be here with more bandages.

The denim was tough, but Cal managed to cut it up to the knee, revealing a large gash with a piece of bone sticking out. He applied pressure on the skin next to the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

 _Come on, Ethan,_ thought Cal. _Please read the text and do what it says. I know you're upset, but please come. I need you and Megan needs you – and you need to do it for yourself as well. Prove to yourself that you're still the brilliant doctor you always have been. Please, Ethan._


	5. Chapter 5

**LittleBritishPerson** , I'm not keen on textspeak either - I find it much quicker to type the actual words than remember the short forms! It did hurt Cal a lot, but Ethan and Megan needed him. And now Cal needs Ethan! Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I hope Ethan's listening to you because you're exactly right! I would go mad if a doctor tried to cut up a pair of my shoes. Unless they looked like Cal, Ethan, Lily, Connie or Zoe, in which case they could do anything they wanted. Thank you for your review!

 **CBloom2** , thank you for your review. I'm glad Ethan has so much support - he really needs all the support he can get at the moment and not everyone is understanding of phobias.

 **Tato Potato** , thank you for your review. I'm sure Ethan would want to help really, but he's struggling a lot as you said. I think a lot of people would be struggling after that ordeal, even if they weren't usually scared of heights.

 **X-Sammii-X** , don't worry - I'm grateful for reviews whenever they come and I love your new fanfiction so your time was well-spent! I like Cal's serious side too - he doesn't usually joke around when someone really needs help. Thank you for your review.

 **tracys dream** , thank you for your review - I think everyone is hoping Ethan goes to help Cal! So if I've written something different, I'll be in trouble!

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review - I'm so glad you like the story. Ethan really was in danger and luckily, our knight in shining armour can't resist a doctor in distress! Especially if he gets to meet a damsel straight afterwards.

* * *

Ethan heard the phone ring, but he didn't want to answer it. What was the point? It was probably just Cal letting him know that he hadn't reached Megan in time and they'd lost her. A text arrived shortly afterwards, but Ethan ignored that too. He hated himself so much.

He buried his face back in the cushion and cried, but the text message was haunting him and he couldn't leave it unread. Even if it was bad news, he had to know.

Ethan sat up, sniffling, and pulled his phone from his pocket. More tears fell from his eyes as he read Cal's text. He didn't know how he was supposed to help Megan. He was useless. If Cal couldn't help, Ethan had no chance.

He started to crawl back under the duvet, but then he stopped. He couldn't ignore this. If Megan had multiple injuries, Cal probably couldn't treat them all at once and the small first aid kit he'd taken was very limited. One of the large bags would be far more useful to him. Even Ethan ought to be able to cope with carrying a bag to the flat next door.

Ethan wiped his eyes and nose on a tissue and put his glasses back on. He had no idea where Cal's medical bag was and Cal wasn't always good about replacing what he used, but Ethan, on the other hand, had a full supply of everything. He also knew exactly where it was, as long as Cal hadn't moved it. Luckily, he hadn't, and Ethan was about to leave when he remembered something. Cal had left his crutches on the balcony. He'd been struggling to walk without them even before he'd had to rescue his stupid brother; his ankle would be feeling even worse now.

Ethan hurried towards the balcony, but then he stopped, remembering what had happened the last time he'd been there. He remembered his foot slipping. He remembered the drop below.

He was shaking as he approached the balcony. The sight of the rail reminded him of when he'd climbed over it and his feet stopped moving as more tears poured down his cheeks. He felt his knees buckling and he collapsed on the floor, sobbing. To think he'd always called Cal the useless brother when all the time…

Ethan only lifted his head when the need to blow his nose became paramount, but when he did look up, he realised something. Cal's crutches were on the floor. He could reach them without standing up.

Ethan was still terrified. He was sure the balcony would be less stable after he and Cal had been climbing all over it, but he knew he couldn't give up. He sobbed as he crawled across the floor and felt sick with terror, but at last, his hand closed around one of the crutches. He reached out for the other one and after a few calming breaths, he was able to turn around and go back into the flat on his knees.

He'd done it. He was a stupid, useless, cry-baby, but he'd still done it.

Ethan checked he still had his doorkey, slung the bag over one shoulder and grabbed another tissue so he could deal with his tears on the way. When Ethan knocked on Megan's door a few moments later, his tears almost gone, there was no answer, but he knew Cal wouldn't be able to get to the door very quickly. Ethan waited patiently and soon the door was opened.

"Ethan!" Cal looked pale but relieved. "I'm so glad you came. Megan has a minor head injury and an open fracture of the left tibia. She's showing signs of shock, but she's still conscious, though she can't move or speak."

"I brought your crutches," said Ethan, and shoved them into Cal's hands before running towards the balcony. When he realised what he'd almost done, he stopped on the threshold, looking down at the patient and trying to persuade himself to step out onto the balcony and help her. He saw the gauze resting lightly on Megan's head, doing nothing but soaking up more blood, and a heavily-padded bandage around her left leg.

He heard the click of Cal's crutches as he hopped over to join Ethan. "Can you sort her head out while I check her over for other injuries?"

Ethan shook his head. "Maybe you should do it, Cal."

Cal stood on his good leg and put his hands on Ethan's shoulders. "No. You do this, Ethan. I know you can, but you need to prove it to yourself."

"I can't," said Ethan, beginning to shake as his eyes filled with tears again.

"Yes, you-" Cal stopped, the colour draining from his face. Without thinking, Ethan took a cardboard bowl from the bag and gave it to Cal. He helped Cal to sit down and rubbed his back sympathetically as he threw up, knowing the pain in his ankle had finally become unbearable, but his doctor's instincts had kicked in now and he knew he couldn't afford to spend too much time comforting his brother. He needed to stop Megan's head wound from bleeding. It was possible there was internal bleeding which they couldn't see, but that made it even more imperative that they did whatever they could to prevent her brain's oxygen supply from weakening further.

Ethan dropped to his knees and crawled onto the balcony. "Hi, Megan. It's Ethan. Cal's brother. I'm just going to put some more gauze against your head for you. There: I hope that doesn't hurt, but I need to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding." He pulled a much larger bandage from the bag. "Now I'm going to put a roller bandage around your head, which will put the pressure on for me while I'm doing other things. I'll be very careful to move your head as little as possible. There you are. Now, lie there quietly and the ambulance will be here soon." He turned to Cal, who was still hunched over the bowl. "How do you know she's conscious?"

"She can move her eyelids a bit," explained Cal in a weak voice.

"Can you flutter your eyes for me, please, Megan?" asked Ethan. "I'd be ever so grateful. Girls hardly ever flutter their eyelashes at me." He smiled when there was a response. "Once more for me? Make a poor, geeky doctor very happy? Thank you. That's perfect."

He couldn't check the skin under her fingernails due to nail varnish and he was wary of pressing the earlobe because of the size of her earrings – the ear bled easily and he didn't want her to lose any more blood. But when he gently opened her mouth, he could see the grey-blue of cyanosis on the inside of her lips. Along with her fast, shallow breathing and a very thready pulse, this indicated that shock was rapidly developing.

Ethan examined her top, which looked a little bit tight, and picked up the scissors Cal had discarded. "Sorry, Megan, but I'm going to cut open your top. I need to reduce constriction to help you breathe. There you are. And now, because medicine can be a surprisingly illogical profession, I'm going to cover you up again with _my_ shirt." He removed it quickly and put it over Megan. "There: that should help to keep you warm." Blankets would be better, but Ethan didn't want to leave Megan and he didn't like to ask Cal when he was in so much pain.

"Is that..." began Cal.

Ethan had heard it too. "The ambulance is here, Megan. The paramedics should be here soon. They'll have equipment with them so they'll be able to do a lot more than we can. We might be doctors, but we are a bit useless when we don't have equipment. All you've got to do is hang on for just a little bit longer and you'll be okay."

He checked Megan's vital signs as they waited, checking not only for a pulse at her wrist – which was still there, just about – but for a pulse below the bandages. Although the blood supply was weakened, he didn't want to cut it off still further by making the bandages too tight.

He almost collapsed with relief when he heard the knock on the door. "I'll go, Cal. You rest your ankle." He got up and hurried to the door, smiling when he saw Dixie and Iain. "I'm so glad you're here. Our patient is called Megan and I would guess she's in her 20s. She has a head injury, which was bleeding freely, and an open fracture of the left tibia. We heard her cry out, so we assume she lost her footing on her balcony, but she's barely conscious and hasn't been able to tell us anything. I'm afraid we don't know her medical history or whether she's on any medication, but I can check the kitchen and bathroom if you like. Oh, and Cal is here, but his ankle is really hurting so he won't be able to help you much."

"It's a good thing you were in the flat," observed Iain as they went through to the balcony.

Ethan hesitated, unwilling to admit to his own cowardice. He knew that saying nothing would make him even more of a coward, but he didn't want to confess that he'd let his injured brother climb along the ledge.

"We were on our balcony," said Cal. "Obviously, I'm not really in the best shape for climbing, so Ethan offered to climb along the ledge and get to Megan. Once one of us was there, they could obviously let the other one in through the front door."

Ethan gave him a grateful but guilty smile. "I'll go and check for medication," he said, and went off to the kitchen as Dixie and Iain started to examine Megan. He returned holding a box of metoclopramide, perhaps prescribed for travel sickness. "The patient's full name is Megan Barry and she is in her twenties. This was the only prescribed medication I found, but now we have her full name, we can check the online database."

Cal nodded and smiled at him. "Well done, Ethan. Good work."

Ethan knew he didn't just mean the tablets.


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm sorry I haven't updated this story for ages - I forgot I was writing it! I think there will be one more chapter after this._

 **CBloom2** , it is just how they should be! I'm sad we won't see them tomorrow night, but also kind of dreading what will happen in the episode after that! I don't know much, but I'm worried. Thank you for your review.

 **Tanith Panic** , I wasn't going to write in any more about Megan, but I decided I would, just for you! Ethan did do really well and I'm sure Cal's proud of him too - I hope he can feel proud of himself. Thank you for your review.

 **Tato Potato** , you're right about it taking a while to sink in - sometimes it doesn't seem like an achievement when it's something most people can deal with. But Ethan really was wonderful! Thank you for your review.

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan** , thank you for your review. I wanted a mixed success for Ethan because he really was still terrified when he climbed the Ferris wheel, but the important thing is he did help Megan.

 **X-Sammii-X** , thank you for your review. I love Cal's caring big brother side too, but we don't see it often - either Cal's treating Ethan badly or Ethan's rejecting his support! Maybe that's why we appreciate it so much!

* * *

"Do either of you know anyone we can call for Megan?" asked Dixie. "A friend; a relative?"

Cal shook his head. "She hasn't been here long. I haven't talked to her that much, though it wasn't for want of trying! But I can travel with her in the ambulance if you like."

"No, I'll go," said Ethan. "You need to rest your ankle. Come with me now and I'll let you into the flat and get you settled with some ice and some painkillers; by then, Dixie and Iain should be ready to leave."

Cal looked at Ethan a bit worriedly, but then he nodded gratefully and let Ethan help him up. Cal was clearly still in a bit of pain and the crutches were of limited help: they helped him keep his ankle off the floor, but every time he hopped, it jolted painfully. Once they got into the flat, Ethan helped Cal to lie on the sofa, found a cushion for his ankle and covered him with the duvet.

"Thanks," murmured Cal. He was pale and sweating from the pain.

"There's a bucket here already, if you still feel sick, and some water for your tablets," said Ethan. He found it helped to concentrate on medical things. It stopped him from thinking and feeling. He touched Cal's shoulder. "Thank you for the bucket and everything, by the way. It was really thoughtful. And thank you for saving me."

Cal smiled through his pain. "It was about time I came to your rescue for a change."

* * *

Ethan sat in the staff room, waiting for news. He'd already texted Cal to ask how he was and to say Megan had arrived safely and was in Resus with Connie. Cal had replied that the pain had gone off a bit and he was glad Megan had got to the hospital.

Ethan had offered to work in cubicles, but Zoe had told him there was no need. She probably thought she was doing Ethan a favour, but he found it so difficult, sitting in there on his own with nothing to do but think. He started to go over everything in his mind again.

The staff room around him faded and he found himself looking down from the balcony at the ground below. He closed his eyes, but he could still see it. Far, far below. His body swayed and he felt his breathing beginning to quicken as his heart raced inside his chest.

He could have fallen. He could very easily have fallen and if he had, he would be seriously injured. Perhaps dead.

But the worst thing was that Cal could have fallen too. Walking across a ledge was dangerous. Limping across a ledge… Ethan was now shaking so hard, he could hear his chair shaking with him. His palms were damp with sweat and he thought how easily it would have been for them to slip from the rail. His chest began to ache as he gasped and panted for breath. The room appeared to be spinning. He thought he might be sobbing with fear, but all he could hear was a ringing sound that went on and on and on.

He wanted it to stop. He wanted everything to stop.

He knew what he needed to do. He needed to keep breathing, slowly and deeply, and gradually everything would return to normal. But every time he thought he'd gained a modicum of control, he saw the terrifying drop again and it all started up again. Something seemed to be pressing hard on the left-hand side of his chest, stopping him from breathing in.

He held his hand to his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath it. He knew he was just panicking; that the symptoms were part of his anxiety; that it was unlikely to last more than half an hour and could be gone in five minutes, but knowing that didn't help. He wanted to run to safety, but he didn't know where safety was. He couldn't continue with what he was doing because all he was doing was sitting here, thinking. He breathed in through his nose, trying to count to five, but he couldn't get past two and that panicked him even more.

He wasn't dying. He knew he wasn't dying and in a way that disappointed him because he knew what a stupid, cowardly failure he was, but it felt so horrible and although he knew exactly what to do, he couldn't do it.

"Ethan? Ethan!"

He thought he knew the voice, but that was impossible. His brother was resting at home. He couldn't be at the hospital. But when Ethan opened his eyes, Cal was there, leaning his crutches against the sofa and carefully lowering himself down beside Ethan.

Cal took Ethan's hands and held them tightly. "It's okay, Ethan. It's okay. I'm here now and you're going to get through this. I'm going to help you calm down and that should ease your symptoms."

Ethan sobbed and whimpered a bit and was convinced it was impossible, but eventually, Cal's voice got through to him and soothed him and before long, the dizziness had stopped and his heart was slowed and he found himself not on the balcony but in the staff room with Cal's arms around him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked once he felt able to speak. "You should be resting."

"I was worried about you," said Cal. "Ethan, you've just lived through one of your worst nightmares. If either of us needs to rest, it's you! I knew you'd start re-living it and I knew they'd probably leave you on your own. So I got a taxi and came down here to check on you - and I think it was a good thing I did."

"I'm glad you're here," said Ethan. "I really am. But you've probably made your ankle so much worse and it's my fault."

Cal rubbed his shoulder and smiled. "Then you can make up for it by waiting on me hand and foot when we get home! But it's not too bad, Ethan. It's a lot better now I've had my painkillers."

"But you were throwing up!"

"I nearly threw up when I injured it too," said Cal. "I was probably due for my painkillers."

Ethan shook his head. "It wasn't just that. It was my fault. I'm so sorry, Cal."

"You're sorry after what you did?" Cal hugged him. "You were amazing, Ethan. Really amazing and I'm going to keep saying that till you believe me." He took one of Ethan's hands in his and looked at it for a moment. "You know, your hands have stopped shaking now." He made his irritating 'cute' face. "So if you _really_ wanted to make it up to me, you could make me a cup of tea?"

Ethan smiled and stood up. "Of course I will, Cal. You deserve it."

"You're amazing, Ethan!" said Cal.

* * *

Ethan was grateful for Cal's presence beside him as they went into Megan's room. He wasn't panicking anymore, but he still felt shaky and fragile and although he'd washed his face, he was sure it was obvious he'd been crying.

Megan's leg was encased in plaster and there was a bandage around her head. She looked pale and drawn, but she'd asked to see them and Connie had agreed a couple of minutes wouldn't hurt.

"Hey," she said, her eyes meeting Ethan's. She even managed a small smile. "Thank you, Ethan."

"Oh, I didn't do anything," said Ethan. "Really."

Cal slung his arm around Ethan's shoulder. As he was holding a crutch, this was even more uncomfortable than usual, but this didn't seem to occur to Cal. "My brother has always been too modest, Megan. He climbed along the ledge between our balconies and he treated your head wound and prevented shock. He really is a bit of a hero."

" _Caleb!_ " said Ethan. Not only was this information severely misleading, he didn't feel like a hero in any sense.

Megan lifted her hand from the bed. It trembled for a moment and then fell back, but even Ethan guessed what she was doing. "You're a hero to me, Ethan."

Ethan took her hand in his. "I'm not, but I'm glad I helped in some small way. How are you feeling?"

"Lucky," said Megan.

Ethan frowned slightly, his gaze moving to her leg and back to her face. "I wouldn't say fracturing your leg and getting a head injury is lucky."

"I was lucky… because you were there," said Megan, and smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," said Ethan. "I was pleased to help. But Cal did most of the work. Really."

Megan didn't seem to hear him. "Ethan… when I'm better, will you come to my flat for dinner?"

"We'd be delighted," said Ethan. "Though I'm not sure you should be cooking with a broken leg. It might be better to wait till you've recovered."

Beside him, Cal sighed and muttered something that sounded like: "Ethan, you idiot."

Ethan couldn't think why he'd said it now, but it wasn't as though he disagreed. "So perhaps you should come to us for dinner first," he said.

This time, Cal smiled and gave Ethan an approving nod. That didn't make much sense either.

"Send us a text when you get out of hospital and I'm sure Ethan will come round and check you've got everything you need," said Cal. "Ethan, why don't you put your number in Megan's phone for her."

"Is that okay?" said Ethan, and Cal sighed again.

"If you don't mind, that would be really helpful," said Megan, smiling at Ethan.

Ethan thought Megan would probably much prefer Cal's number, but he was a bit worried Cal might overbalance if he tried texting and Ethan couldn't remember what Cal's number was so he put his own number in instead. "Text me anytime. I'll get Cal to text you later so he'll have your number too."

The door opened. "Megan, your parents are here. Dr Hardy, you'd better take your brother home."

"Yes, of course," said Ethan. He was exhausted, though he knew he would attend to Cal's needs before he even though about himself. "Get well soon, Megan. I'm sure we're both looking forward to dinner. "

"Thank you, Ethan. Thank you for saving me."


	7. Chapter 7

_This is the last chapter - thank you so much for all the reviews and the support and I hope you like the ending. I still don't have internet at home, but I'm hoping to fit in a couple of updates today._

 **Tanith Panic** , thank you for your review. I think Megan was lucky because she happened to live next to two doctors who happened to be at home in the middle of the day and happened to be on the balcony when she cried out. I love a good Casualty coincidence!

 **tracys dream** , thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 **CBloom2** , I love cute men and I love clueless men so Ethan would be perfect if it wasn't for the whole fictional thing! Thank you for your review.

 **LittleBritishPerson** , I imagine Cal arrived about half an hour after Ethan, but it's not clear at all. I'm not very good with time! I'm glad you liked Cal helping Ethan though his panic attack. Thank you for your review.

 **X-Sammii-X** , I think someone does have a crush on Ethan... and can you blame her? I expect Cal realised Ethan was going to need support and for once, he didn't mess it up! Thank you for your review.

 **Becs2202** , it is very difficult to know if someone likes you, especially if you're modest like Ethan. I don't think it's even occurred to Ethan that Megan might like him! Thank you for your review.

 **ETWentHome** , thank you for your review. I think Ethan would probably be single forever if he didn't have Cal! I doubt he'd have got together with Honey without Cal's help either.

 **is-there-somewhere-x** , thank you for your review. I'm really happy you enjoyed the chapter. I agree dinner with the brothers sounds fun! If it wasn't for Megan's injuries, I'd swap places with her in a second!

 _Thank you to **Catt9089** and **is-there-somewhere-x** for the follows and favourite._

* * *

Ethan helped Cal to sit on the sofa and started to lift his legs onto the sofa, but Cal shook his head.

"Just get me a chair or something to put my foot on. I want you to sit next to me."

Ethan was surprised. He didn't think Cal had said that to him for over twenty years, but he knew his brother was in pain and it would be understandable if he wanted a bit of comfort.

He got Cal a chair and sat beside him.

"Okay?" said Ethan.

Cal nodded, his eyes on Ethan. "I'm okay."

"You don't need another painkiller?"

"I've already taken the maximum," said Cal. "But I'm fine."

Ethan sat quietly, unsure what to say, so he occupied himself in thinking of how he could help Cal if the pain did become too much to bear. There was ice, of course. Warming and cooling gels and sprays. Ethan was fairly sure they had some of each in the bathroom. He could also try tightening Cal's bandage to give more support, though he'd have to make sure he wasn't cutting the circulation off, of course. Or if the pain was really bad…

He gasped in surprise when Cal suddenly took Ethan's glasses off and put his arms around him, hugging him close. "It's okay, Nibbles. It's okay. It's over now."

Ethan opened his mouth to tell Cal he was okay, but then his eyes filled with tears. His sobs were loud and childlike and probably should have been embarrassing, but for some reason they weren't when Cal was holding him so tightly and telling him it was okay.

He wondered how Cal had known because _he_ hadn't. "Is your watch an hour fast again?" he asked, sniffling, when Cal finally let him go.

Cal gave Ethan a tissue. "What are you going on about now, Nibbles?"

Ethan wiped his nose. "You know when you see a girl in a club and you tell her she hasn't got any, you know, underwear on and when she says she has, you say your watch might be an hour fast? I was wondering if it was fast with me too."

Cal stared at him. "Firstly, Ethan, I haven't used that line for at least twenty years… well, fifteen; and secondly, I wouldn't use it on my brother; and thirdly, are you trying to tell me something?"

Ethan laughed shakily. "I just meant how did you know I was going to cry? Because I had no idea."

"Oh, that's easy, Nibbles," said Cal, one arm still around Ethan. "You used to be such a cry-baby, I got to know the signs pretty well. You were blinking; your nose was twitching; your lip was starting to wobble…"

"Of course I was blinking!" said Ethan. "How else am I supposed to lubricate my eyes?" He glared at Cal. "And my nose _wasn't_ twitching."

"Okay, maybe you didn't have quite all the signs this time… but seriously, Ethan, after what you've been through, you had every reason to cry."

Ethan looked away, fiddling with his tissue. "Because I'm a stupid, cowardly cry-baby?"

"No," said Cal forcefully. "Look at me, Nibbles. No, put your glasses on and look at me properly."

Ethan did as he was told.

"You had a reason to cry because you're my very brave little brother who conquered his fear enough to get halfway across a ledge," said Cal. "I know you couldn't get all the way across, but that doesn't matter. To get that far when you're terrified is amazing. And in case you don't remember me mentioning it before, _you're_ amazing. And I'm proud of you."

"I don't see why," muttered Ethan, lowering his gaze.

"Because I get scared all the time and most of the time, I don't even try to face my fear," said Cal. "I was amazed and impressed that you even considered going across to help Megan."

Ethan heard the words but felt no satisfaction in them. He'd have said the same thing about someone else who'd faced their fear, but he couldn't feel anything but disappointment and disgust with himself. "I know, Cal, but it wasn't good enough."

Cal hugged him. "It was more than good enough for me."

"But not for me," said Ethan. He thought about moving out of Cal's embrace, but he still felt wobbly. He was safe with Cal, but the feeling of being on that ledge hadn't completely gone. His eyes filled again. "I don't want to feel like this forever."

"You won't," said Cal. "Give it a few days and it will still be a horrible memory, but not one that's with you every minute."

Ethan shook his head. "No, I didn't mean that. I don't just want to get over what happened today. I want to get over the whole fear. I don't want to be afraid of heights anymore."

"Then I'm sure you can get over it," said Cal simply.

Ethan looked at him uncertainly. "Do you really think I could?"

"Of course you could," said Cal. "Or at least you can learn to deal with your fear. I'm not saying it's going to be easy because it's not. It's probably going to take you quite a lot of time. There are lots of different ways of dealing with a phobia and you might have to give lots of different techniques a try before you find the one that works for you."

"But you think I could do it?" said Ethan.

Cal nodded and smiled. "I don't know anyone as brave as you, Ethan. Not just for going on the ledge. The way you looked after Mum and dealt with everything. You shouldn't have had to do that on your own, but you did."

"Please don't think I'm getting at you, but I didn't have any choice about that," said Ethan as gently as he could. "When something has to be done and you're the only person who can do it, all kinds of things that seemed impossible become possible."

"Even so, I bet you had to be brave all the time," said Cal. "You're not saying you weren't scared, are you? Of losing Mum? Of seeing her go through pain and suffering?"

"Of course I was scared," said Ethan. "But it wasn't the kind of situation where you panic. I wasn't actually in any danger."

Cal hesitated, then said, without looking at Ethan: "I panicked. Every time I tried to go and see her, I panicked. I got teary, shaky, sweaty, nauseous… I couldn't deal with it at all."

Ethan stared at him in surprise, then he took Cal's hand and squeezed it. "You should have told me. I would have helped you. We could have gone together."

"But that would have involved speaking to you," said Cal, with a sad smile. "I suppose that scared me too."

Ethan didn't know what to say so he squeezed Cal's hand again and realised that even if Cal had admitted his fear, Ethan might not have listened. He hadn't known his brother as well as he did now.

He caught Cal's eye and there was a moment of awkwardness before they let go of each other's hands.

"But I'm sure you can get through this," said Cal. "Maybe talk to Ben Harding about it. Or buy a book: reading's always been more your thing than talking!"

"I think I'll do both," said Ethan.

"Then there might be something on the internet," said Cal. "Maybe forums where you can talk to other acrophobes. Get new ideas. You can make up your own ideas as well. And also, you could try going out onto the balcony once a day."

Ethan tried not to shudder. He almost managed it.

Cal patted his arm. "It doesn't have to be for long. I can go with you at first. Then we can move on to me going out with you and leaving you, but still hanging around just in case. Whatever you feel you need."

"Thank you," said Ethan. "That would be really helpful."

"The balcony might actually be a nice place for a date," said Cal, a mischievous spark in his eyes. "Moonlight and all that. I'm sure Megan would love it."

Ethan smiled. "I'm sure Megan would love anything if she was with you."

"With me?" Cal started to laugh. "Are you seriously that naïve, Nibbles? It's you she likes. It's you she wanted to hold hands with; you she asked over for dinner…"

"Patients often want to hold hands with the doctors," said Ethan. "It's a comfort thing. Did you seriously not know that?" He laughed. "No wonder you think the entire female population adores you if you're taking that as a demonstration of interest."

Cal actually went slightly red. "Okay, Nibbles. You got me there. But my point stands. Megan likes you. Whenever I try to ask her out for dinner, she's always in a hurry. But she _wants_ to have dinner with you."

"No, she asked both of us," said Ethan. "Why would she want to have dinner just with me?"

Cal laughed. "That's exactly what I've been trying to figure out! No, Ethan, listen to me. Megan likes you. She hardly took her eyes off you the whole time we were there. She called you her hero."

"Which we both know I'm not."

"Of course you are," said Cal. "You saved her life. I managed to patch her leg up, but even once I'd done that, she was on the verge of going into shock. You're the one who prevented that. I couldn't fight my nausea enough to help her, but you did fight your fear. You went on the balcony."

"I suppose I did," said Ethan. "I might not be a Knight in shining armour, but I am pretty Hardy."

Cal smirked. "I'm not sure I'd quite say you're pretty. But do you think Megan's pretty?"

"Well, I, um… yes," said Ethan.

"Then give it a try," said Cal. "Go over and help her when she gets home and see what happens."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" said Ethan. "I know you like her."

Cal shrugged. "I like most women. And after what you did, you deserve first crack at her."

"Caleb!"

"What?"

"Don't speak about Megan like that. Or any woman, I mean."

Cal smiled triumphantly. "You see: you're getting protective already. She's all yours, bro." He paused. "But if Megan does ever sunbathe naked on her balcony… and if you do happen to take a picture on your phone…"

"No!" said Ethan.


End file.
